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For example, we might tell someone how we are going to rise above our circumstances one day, and we may be told to be realistic by someone who wants to keep us from being hurt by failure. Your inner defender feels vindicated and has gained a little strength. You inner child is now screaming at the ridiculousness of this invalidation which is repeated again and again. That doesn’t mean we had the exact same experiences. Projection is a fairly simple process that creates a whirlwind of difficulties in relationship. The person who invalidates you has faced similar invalidation in their own life.