I am not saying get him to pursue you by acting unavailable, I’m saying actually be unavailable.
What was once readily available is suddenly gone, and no matter how hard we try to regain our partner's former affection, it now seems beyond our reach. They don't need more time to figure out their emotions. The phases of Hot and Cold: The "hot" phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition. Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person.
A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don't result in forward movement.
The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. But the partner, who's committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love.
They're not sorting out their last breakup, and they're not swamped at work. The hot/cold scenario typifies much more than a lack of certainty on a lover's part. You quickly find yourself craving more of this delicious new feeling.
This phase lures you into the hopes of the possibility of romance.