Some people have really beautiful relationships with their exes, or friendly or civilized relationships. As in any relationship — platonic, romantic, familial, professional — you conduct yourself with dignity and according to the understanding of disclosure with the other party.But that is an agreement — implicit or explicit — with that person.I didn't recognize your face, or your name, but we had a few friends in common, and I definitely recognized the man standing next to you in your profile picture. I know what you’re thinking right now-crazy ex-wife is stalking your profile because you’re dating her ex-husband and she’s mad. I’m sure he has told you that he’s divorced (and some not-so-pretty “things” about me), and maybe even a little bit of his family history, and maybe even a few other quips of smaller things in his life that he has “overcome”, enough to make you feel badly for him, proud of him for where he is today, and even a little lucky for being with someone who has been through what he has. All of a sudden he will go from perfectly calm to a complete irrational hurricane in a matter of seconds-and it will be all your fault. And I can’t express to you how much I apologize to you for it.He had all the love and support and sunshine and rainbows and butterflies and puppies that anyone could ever ask for-and it still wasn't good enough. The truth about this man is simple: he does not know how to love. I can sit here and name every horrible thing that occurred throughout our relationship and marriage, but I don’t think you want to hear it, and frankly I have worked extremely hard to stop reliving it. The wounds on my body have healed, but the scars that have remained are deep. I’m sorry that I allowed him to believe that what he was doing to me was right for as long as I did, because now he very well could do this to you.I’m sorry, but you and your family will never be good enough. He believes in a love and a life that isn't real, and therefore, he will never truly be happy. I’m sorry that his lies and his games were so convincing that I wholeheartedly believed him, because now he thinks they are bulletproof.I have nothing to gain from you leaving my ex-husband. I am still recovering and the relationship lasted less time than its taken to heal. From there you can protect yourselves from further abusers but there is still no guarantees.
In other words, if you and your ex have a nice relationship and chat freely and often about the goings-on in your lives, and you start dating someone and have been telling everyone else in your life about this special new person, then it would be really weird and suspicious if you didn’t tell your ex.
Because you are no longer romantically entwined and, as such, you are each free to date as each of you see fit. A text that says: “I wanted you to hear it from me and not the kids: I am dating, and sometimes the guys I see meet the kids.”It’s not up for debate, or discussion.
This is your romantic life, and your court-ordered time with the kids.
He is the kids’ father, and legally he has a right to parent as he sees fit.
You might not like her, or agree with his decisions, but abuse aside, you have no legal or moral right right to try to stop that.